U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
