R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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