Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
