if i can run in heels then i can drive
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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