Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
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Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
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That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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