and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
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