I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm at about main and main street
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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