the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
