He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
