He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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