i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We got so high we made milksteak
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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