WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
