I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
