It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
