p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
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Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
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Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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