just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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