I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
