what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
