he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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