So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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