god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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