The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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