You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
