She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
