I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
