If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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