Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
