once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Quick, to the slutcave!
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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