I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
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Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
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Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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