What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
