ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
