Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
