WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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