Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
