she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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