ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
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He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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