ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think i peed on brittanys purse
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
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He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
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