like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
