Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize