Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
