I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We have started to decorate penises.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
