You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
