you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
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The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
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she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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