my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.