kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
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you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
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Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."