I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.