I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?