I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She liked it
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...