I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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