How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
