okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
