Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
