u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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