i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I FOUND THE LEGS
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
