i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
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Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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