I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
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I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
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I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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