champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
