I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
