You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
