Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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