Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
