I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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