You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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